the unfortunate truth and its fortunate result

about 3 hours after writing my last post my body told me the ugly truth: it had NOT healed. i came down with a sickly fever, nausea, diarhea (just what you wanted to know, huh?).... the works. it lasted for 3 days. i have never felt so sick in all my life. i was miserable, lonely, in pain, scared. restricted to my bed, barely able to move, i could do nothing but think -about how much i wished i were home, about the possibilities of what would happen if i didn't get better or if i had to withdraw from the program. i thought about everything i hate about this place. i wrote a friend a letter venting about how miserable it all was. i cried a lot.
the people here (students, my achalas -sisters, the program directors) took such great care of me and helped nurse me back from zombie mode to functioning human being. the last day i was sick i cried a lot and a couple students and i all sat in a little circle and talked about being here, homesickness, and how to cope with it all. it was a great dialogue and extremely productive for me. from that moment on, my world has flipped here. i am thoroughly allowing this place to flow through me and myself to flow through it -accepting the things that were challenging for me before, embracing life's many important lessons, and soaking in my last days in Dharamsala.
i am so blessed to be given all of these experiences and lessons and growth spurts. it is truly wonderful (all of it, the negativity and challenges such as much as the joys). i have been shown that my mind was somewhat closed, even though i considered myself as one having a very open mind, and i have been humbled and reminded of what is real, true, and of importance.
i'm a slow learner with language still... but am trying to chug along with it. the other academic fields are going pretty well and i am learning a lot. our buddhism studies begin in four days when we leave for Kathmandu, Nepal... so i am quite excited. after that we fly over mt everest and begin our trek in Tibet! (i'll post before we leave for Tibet, because once there i will be very far away from anything that resembles a computer).

hope you all are well! if you are in an area where autumn colors are flourishing, please please enjoy them for me (they are one of my favorite things and i am sad to be missing them)... go for a walk in the woods, roll around in the leaves, or just appreciate that beautiful crunch the colorful leaves make as you walk along to wherever you may be going.

jela jelyong!